


Bloody Valentine

by Vanyel



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Also copious song lyrics, And a pretty bloody one too, Death, M/M, Spy u hog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 01:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6883852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanyel/pseuds/Vanyel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spy does not share.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bloody Valentine

The RED Spy wasn’t sure how he’d ended up in this facade that passed for a fancy restaurant in New Mexico, huddling behind a menu of slightly less cheaply cut steaks and obviously overpriced wines, to stalk his own co-workers on their silly little outing; he REFUSED to call it a date, even if that’s what they considered it. A few tables away, the BLU Engineer was laughing a little too loud at another one of the BLU Sniper’s jokes, something Spy couldn’t hear from his location, but the look of happiness on the Texan’s face both irritated and infuriated him. Spy should be the one making him smile like that, not the filthy, piss-scented, hopeless excuse for an Australian! He snarled, gripping the menu tighter until his knuckles turned white and barely noticing the waiter next to him hesitantly trying to ask for his order. How dare the Sniper get close to the Engineer, who rightfully belonged to Spy. How DARE he!

He ordered one of the cheaper meals, seafood-clearly not fresh this far in the badlands- and handed off the menu, smoothing down the mustache he’d taken on for the disguise. Spy kept his eyes on the “happy couple” scowling and only looking away when a shift in the Engineer’s body language hinted he might be looking towards the Spy. The disguise was good, but he didn’t want his lovely little laborer seeing him stalking them and getting the wrong idea about him. He just…wanted to make sure Engineer was being treated right, and Spy was sure the Sniper couldn’t make him happy. He was too rough, too…dangerous. The Engineer had fallen for the marksman because of a few discussions about engines, but that wasn’t any way to begin a mature, romantic relationship. The Texan needed someone more polished, someone who could appreciate his full intellect. He doubted Sniper even loved him, and knew he didn’t love Engineer as much as Spy did. Just because the Sniper and Engineer were teammates didn’t make their relationship more right.

The entire meal, Spy continually glared at the Sniper’s back over the top of his obviously sub-par fish. He wished he’d dared for a closer table to be able to hear the bushman trip over himself trying to impress the clearly out-of-his-league Engineer, but the man’s eyes were sharp, and Spy didn’t want to risk being exposed. The Sniper’s feeble attempts at romanticism were laughable to the Spy. The uncultured swine couldn’t even find a proper good restaurant in this town for a third date, one that didn’t overcook their vegetables!

Finally, the horrid excuse for the date came to a close, and Spy threw down an easily sufficient wad of bills before the check even arrived, trailing Sniper and Engineer out of the restaurant a few yards behind. They climbed into Sniper’s van, the old, run-down machine that the filthy bushman called both transportation and home. Wrinkling his nose, Spy cloaked, running out and climbing onto the ladder on the back of the truck. This had to end tonight, and the RED was not going to just wait for Sniper to reveal his true motives or hope they had a falling-out naturally. He couldn’t wait that long.

The van made its way back to the base, Spy clinging onto the rusty ladder in a death grip. Sniper dropped the Engineer off, and Spy turned the cloak on again as he clambered off the back, watching the two take a small moment to kiss good night. Even from here, Spy could tell the Texan had to struggle up to the marksman’s lips, and he snorted derisively, looking away and watching them in the reflection of the window of the camper. The Sniper should be bending down for him, if he had any sense of decency! He took the distraction to slip inside the camper through the door on the other side, tucking himself behind the driver’s seat and cloaking again as the Sniper climbed back into the van, starting the engine up again with a rumble. What a repulsive place to live, Spy thought, looking around at the interior of the camper. The smell of piss must pervade everything. How could the man dare to live like this? He wrinkled his nose. At least the man wouldn’t have to deal with this much longer.

Finally the Sniper shut down the engine, the van a good distance away from the base now. This must be where he parked his home, the Spy thought dismissively. Anyone who though a mobile house was even an option for living quarters, especially when there was a room available for him on the base, was clearly not mentally stable enough for a man of such…wonderful intelligence and integrity as the Engineer. He pressed back against the seat as Sniper clambered over it, yawning and setting his hat on a hook stuck out of the edge of the wall.

The lanky Australian stretched, exposing his long back, and Spy couldn’t resist the opportunity. He sprang up, the cloak shorting out as he slammed into the Sniper from behind, digging his knife into his shoulder blade in an intentionally nonfatal blow and yanking it out quickly. Falling to the floor with a yelp, Sniper quickly flipped himself over, looking up at the Spy with a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. “Sp-spoi?” He scrambled for a weapon on the messy floor of his camper, but the RED moved faster, slamming his foot onto the man’s hand and grinning at the cry of pain that greeted him.“C-c-c-come on, spook, is th-this about the Jarate? I told you, that time it was an accide-”

Spy leaned over the other man, sneering. “Look at you, you filth. You think you’re worthy of the Engineer?” He spat, letting it splatter on the BLU’s ubiquitous aviators. “You’re not fit to lick the machine grease off his gloves.” Sniper’s eyes widened, flicking between the bloodied knife and Spy’s face twisted in rage and disgust.

He whimpered softly as the Spy leaned over him, pressing the edge of the balisong into his throat hard enough to stifle the airflow. “D-d-d-don’t do this, mate, you know they shut it off after hours, please!” The Sniper begged him not to do it, but Spy knew. He had to do this.

“I’m in love with him,” Spy whispered, almost wistful as he ignored the continuous pleading below him. “I’m so in love with him, and there is no way in hell I’m letting you keep him from me a moment longer.” He grinned. “Au revoir, you van-dwelling disgrace.”

The knife dug into the Sniper’s neck, blood spraying across the RED’s mask as the pained scream turned into a murky gurgling noise. But it wasn’t enough for Spy. Something inside made him reach down, pressing his gloveless hands over the gash and curling his fingers. Flesh slipped around in his hands as he pulled, literally ripping out the Australian’s throat and throwing it across the van, letting it splatter against the window with a soft squelching sound. He panted softly, standing over the corpse and staring down at his blood-covered hands. A small smile appear on his face, growing into a maniacal grin, and a mad high-pitched giggle escaped the Spy’s throat. Now nothing, and more importantly nobody, stood between him and the love of his life.

The Engineer had to know. He had to know that the biggest obstacle standing between them, his so-called boyfriend, was now nothing more than a lifeless mass of meat slowly oozing blood across the dirt-stained floor. Striding over the body dismissively, the Spy grabbed the phone off the camper wall, dialing in the Engineer’s number. He’d seen Sniper call it a few times, and memorized it, sending the machinist romantic and descriptive calls from a voice-disguised “secret admirer” while he was still single, before the filthy bushman got in the way.

The Engineer sat back in his chair, feet up on the worktable as he sighed happily. It had been a lovely night out with the Sniper, just the two of them. Getting away from base for a whole evening was rare around here, and so it made every moment spent alone with the man away from the constant surveillance of the cameras within the BLU grounds. Oddly enough, in the restaurant, the Engineer had gotten that familiar chill on the back of his neck like they had still been being watched, but couldn’t see anyone or anything to indicate who or what had been watching them on their date. Probably just his battlefield paranoia following him into his personal life, he’d reckoned, and paid it no mind.

A sudden noise startled him almost out of the chair, and it took a moment before the Engineer realized it was just his phone ringing. Huh, looked like it was the BLU Sniper calling-after the strange incident involving the creepy “secret admirer”, Engineer had manufactured a form of caller ID for his phone to figure out who had actually called him. Wonder what Sniper wanted, he thought idly, picking up. “Heya darlin’, what is it ya wante-”

“We’re free of him, mon petit laborer.” The sound of that smooth French accent calling from this line made Engineer’s heart stop. The BLU Spy never called him that little…pet name; only the RED one, right as he sank a knife between his shoulder blades. “The filthy, unworthy man who dared to woo you with false words is gone, and now we can be together, like we were always meant to be.”

He swallowed nervously. “Spah….Spah, what do you mean? Why are you callin’ from Snipe’s phone? What are ya talkin’ about, he’s gone?”

A dark chuckle greeted him, the touch of madness in it making a lump rise in Engineer’s throat. “I mean that your BLU Sniper is dead.”

Engineer let out a choked sob, one hand rising to cover his mouth, slowly shaking his head. “No….no….how could ya do this, Spah…..”

“Shhh, shhh, darling,” Spy crooned back lovingly. “Everything’s going to be okay. Oh, my love, please don’t cry.” He gazed out of the dirty camper window, almost fancying he could see the Engineer sitting there in his workshop from where he stood, the view only vaguely spoiled by the trail of gore stain left from the chunk of Sniper’s flesh sliding down the glass. “I’ll wash my bloody hands, and we’ll start a new life.”

Tears ran down behind the tinkerer’s goggles. “A new life? Spah, you killed the man I loved! Forever! We both know Respawn…..Respawn is down after hours….” He dropped the phone, unable to continue.

Spy chuckled softly. “I may know that, amour, but I don’t know much at all. I don’t know wrong from right.” He pressed his lips against the mouthpiece of the phone, a static buzzing mixed with a loud popping noise emerging from the other end in a parody of a kiss. “All I know is I love you, tonight. And always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the wonderful canned-fruits
> 
> And yes, THAT song.


End file.
